Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Dreams...

With the start of my battle with infertility more than 17 years behind me (yowks!) I have come to the conclusion that a large part of the pain of infertility is the loss of a dream (or of many dreams).

When I was a little girl, all I wanted to be was a mommy. I got married at 20 because I wanted to be a mommy. The first months that I waited, when I was still in school, were hard for me, because I wanted to be a mommy. And I didn't want to have just one child. I wanted a lot of kids. A big family, at least 4.

Along the way, I had other dreams - to get pregnant with just 2 people aware of the moment of conception; to just 'find out' that I was pregnant, without gnawing my nails off during the 2ww; to wheel a baby in a stroller with my big, pregnant belly in front of me...

What dreams do you (or did you) have? Were they fulfilled?

Once again, thanks to Mel for giving me a reason to have to put up a new post every day this week :-)

5 comments:

triLcat said...

I have a dream of pushing my baby in a stroller with my sister pushing hers in a stroller too... Looks like soon, that dream will come true :)

Artblog said...

Almost the same as yours so nope, they are not yet fulfilled, only got a quarter of that dream, still some get nothing at all so I'm grateful.

Catherine said...

When I was a little girl, my mom said my desire was so strong to be a mommy, that she was afraid I was going to become an unwed mother at 6y old! LOL

I got married at 18, and began my journey of miscarriage and loss 6m later.

I come from a family of 6 kids and tons of cousins. I wanted at least 4 children.

After more pregnancies then I want to count, 10 losses between 6-14w, I did have 3 successful pregnancies. I consider myself fortunate and fertile.

I just wish I could hang onto one more baby for my new husband, who has no children of his own.

Catherine from frugalbabytips.blogspot.com
and
pregnancystories.blogspot.com

Sarah said...

i have so disassociated myself from those dreams i don't even think about them any more. perhaps sometime down the road after this baby i will look back and remember those dreams.

Bobby and Ivy said...

I felt the same way. Was married at 20 too! I lost so many dreams along the way...even the ability to just shrug off getting my period. You know, it became habit to be totally destroyed everytime the witch came along that I still cring when it happens....