Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Donor & biological children in the same family

I just posted Terri's story. Terri went through several miscarriages & was then told she was in premature menopause. They decided to go ahead with donor egg, conceived on the first cycle and had a baby. Shortly thereafter, she heard of a woman who'd gone for reflexology and acupuncture for high FSH and was able to conceive naturally. She tried it and it worked. She's now 18 weeks pregnant.

Jim also posted his story, in which they were told there was no chance for them to conceive using his sperm. They opted for a donor, gave birth to a child and then, miraculously, his wife found herself pregnant naturally.

I wonder what they tell the children in this situation. Will they say anything at all to the children or will it make the donor-conceived child feel 'different'? Maybe like being partly adopted? Will it make them feel like this was their parents' second choice? I know that there are many families in which the parents choose to have another child later on, when it's too late to have a biological child, and then opt for egg donation (usually, or sperm donation, after a vasectomy) - but in this case, it's different - it seems fairly obvious that the parents would not have chosen to use a donor had they known they could be successful without it. I'm too shy to ask, but I do wonder...

I welcome your thoughts.

3 comments:

Bea said...

I would hope they'd still let the children know about their donor conception. They are slightly strange stories, though - not the usual way things go. I guess a lot of the usual techniques apply - surprise pregnancies after ART, accidental children, children without full siblings due to a variety of family situations, adopted children in families with biologically-related children...

Bea

Anonymous said...

I think that as long as parents provide a loving home for their children, there could only ever be limited anxiety for them. If a child feels loved, he or she may be irked by the fact that they were conceived by donation, but never feel second best.

Also, I found some information about FSH testing http://fertilitytesting.co.uk/preliminary_tests/FSH_test.html

DI_Dad said...

It's an interesting question. Most of the couples I have run into have the "expected" mix of full bio children and later found they could not again so they turned to donor gametes. I'll post about this directing any parties to come back here to leave additional comments.

Regards, Er8ic