Wednesday, October 10, 2007

An advantage to having an ex who's lost his mind

It doesn't just pass people by anymore. Sure, they still believe some of his phony reality, but you can't miss that something is seriously wrong with him. He has the scariest look in his eyes that I've ever seen.

Anyway, today went OK. It wasn't what I thought it was going to be. She is trying to mediate so that we can settle the issues out of court. I was kind of at a loss, since I didn't know what the issues are... but I proposed 3 different issues to discuss. And then it was his turn. He went on and on about 'the children's best interest' and about 'doing what's best for the children' and blah blah blah, until finally she shut him up and told him to actually say something and not just keep throwing slogans around. The bottom line is that this whole thing is about money. And not even a lot of money. And not even money that he claims to have paid. It's about the fact that he thinks that I am evil for going to the court to claim the money that he owes. For some odd reason, the social worker almost bought this at first, saying that claiming the money that he owes caused conflict & I should have avoided conflict at all costs. If this is true, then why do you need agreements in the first place - are they meant only for people who would follow them even if they didn't exist? How can it be that she doesn't see it as HIS obligation to pay the child support and that if I had to go to the court in order to get it that something is wrong on HIS side? Anyway, he sat there smugly saying that he didn't pay, with no explanation as to why he thinks that's OK... Finally, she did catch on, but she still thought that we should settle it in her office.

I've been trying to settle these issues for over 5 years now. He's refused anything but my completely letting him off the hook. Why should I compromise on the amount now, so far into the process? Wouldn't that just show him that in the future he can do whatever he pleases? I think the pressure she's putting on me is unfair...

Overall, it really was OK & now, since the GPS was programmed better, I actually even know where I was :-) I was even able to stop on the way home and get some special paper that Hadas can use for paper folding (I got her a fancy paper folding book for her birthday which is next Monday - she's going to be 14!!!)

Still waiting for the results of the amnio. 15 days and counting. They said it's usually around 2-1/2 weeks. That's soon.


Sarah said...

this does sound a lot better than what you expected. i guess those mediators are trained to try to see both sides, but there should be some option for when the other side has no merit whatsoever.

fingers crossed for speedy delivery of perfect results!!

Bea said...

I'm glad she caught on in the end.


Leah Goodman said...

Really? "I don't want to pay" isn't a reason to not pay?

You're so unreasonable!

Sara said...

I'm glad that it was better than you'd feared, but it still sounds rather stress-inducing. How on earth could a reasonable person think that not paying is in any way acceptable? Good for you for sticking up for yourself!