Friday, April 24, 2009
Sure, I've been there. 3 years of useless waiting, trying and testing; 6 IVFs, including a frozen cycle. Miscarriages with ongoing pregnancy (twice). Late miscarriage (once). But it's the end result that counts and I ended up with 3 healthy IVF kids - much more than most women starting out on their infertility journey even let themselves dream of...
So I haven't blogged (or not much, at least) about all the sleepless nights (last night we were up at least 5x between 12:30 and 6) and about the difficulty of being a work-from-home-mom with a baby, doing freelance work on tight schedules. I haven't mentioned how much I detest tripping on toys and how sometimes I wonder why I got myself into all of this when what I really love is peace and quiet. And time to do things that I want to do.
I'm guessing it's a conflict that many (most?) mothers have. I love my kids. I enjoy certain things - watching them learn new things, reading them stories, talking to them, taking them places (when they can behave nicely), hugging and playing with them... but then there are the things I hate. I hate the mess. I hate the screaming and whining. I hate when kids hit or bite me. I hate when the kids fight. I hate waking up in the middle of the night for kids who are already old enough to sleep through the night. I hate the evening rush of feeding the kids, bathing them, brushing their teeth and trying to get them to stay in their beds. Sometimes I'd just like to have a quiet evening without anyone screaming, crying, whining, biting or fighting. Without having to sweep the floor to get up all the little pieces of peas, tomatoes and rice that are stuck to it. I'd like to sleep in and not feel guilty for letting Ohad wake up for the kids yet again. He'd like to sleep in too.
I try to remind myself to enjoy this time that they're small. And I do, but it's them I enjoy, not this time in my life. There are so many things I feel like I want to do, but can't... and it's frustrating. I can't help but look forward to a time when I'll be able to do more things that will give me a sense of accomplishment.
Ohad and I keep reassuring ourselves, "OK, a year from now some things will be easier." Yirmi will be able to go up the stairs reliably. He won't be putting things in his mouth anymore. He'll start walking (meaning I won't have to walk around carrying him so much). Maybe we'll even be able to leave the little kids with a babysitter - when they're awake - and actually spend some time together before 11pm.
And then I was reading blogs written by people who have real issues... Sick children who require constant care. Babies that don't always survive... and it seems so insignificant to have to listen to 3 hours of screaming in the afternoon. I can even sit there and think that it's far from the worst thing that could happen, but it doesn't make me enjoy it.
Having done this once before (been a mom to 3 little kids), I know it gets better and it gets easier. I enjoy seeing how nicely the older ones (15-1/2 & twins almost 13) are growing and how they are becoming increasingly independent. I love that they can actually help (not that they like to, but they do, on occasion). The little kids(4, 3 & 1) still need one of us to be with them every waking moment. Getting a break from that once in a while, at a time during which I don't need to work, would be a good thing.
It's not 11am yet and I'm falling asleep on the keyboard. Yirmi's sleeping and Nomi's sick (and sleeping) on the couch.
I guess it's time for some coffee and then back to work.
p.s. I really do love my kids and I feel incredibly fortunate to have them, I just think that the amount of time and effort required for being a father or mother is often misrepresented, even by most parents.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
As promised - the top 10 personal care products bought via FertilityStories.com*
PreConceive: A Male Fertility Sperm Test
Early-Detection Pregnancy Tests
FertilAid for Men: Male Fertility Supplement
PreConceive: A Male Fertility Sperm Test
2 Boxes Pre-seed Lubricant & 5 Pregnancy Tests
Ovulation Test Strips (20 and 50)
Fertell-At Home Couples Fertility Screening Kit
Fertile Focus Ovulation Microscope with Free Shipping
Micra Sperm Test - At Home Test for Sperm Count and Motility
Pre-Seed Fertility-Friendly Intimate Moisturizer, 0.14-Ounce Pre-filled Applicators in 6-Count Boxes (Pack of 2)
*Purchases through Amazon help support this site. See the FertilityStories store that includes only products purchased through this site.
What products would you recommend?
Sunday, April 05, 2009
Curiosity finally got to me, so I downloaded and checked what books are the ones most often bought by visitors* to FertilityStories. Here are the top 10 (total, 166 copies).
Helping the Stork : The Choices and Challenges of Donor Insemination
The Couple's Guide to In Vitro Fertilization: Everything You Need to Know to Maximize Your Chances of Success
The Infertility Cure : The Ancient Chinese Wellness Program for Getting Pregnant and Having Healthy Babies
Taking Charge of Your Fertility, 10th Anniversary Edition: The Definitive Guide to Natural Birth Control, Pregnancy Achievement, and Reproductive Health
The Fastest Way To Get Pregnant Naturally
Mommies, Daddies, Donors, Surrogates : Answering Tough Questions and Building Strong Families
Single Mothers by Choice : A Guidebook for Single Women Who Are Considering or Have Chosen Motherhood
Overcoming Male Infertility: Understanding Its Causes and Treatments
IVF: The Wayward Stork--What to Expect, Who to Expect It From, and Surviving It All?
The Mother of All Pregnancy Books: The Ultimate Guide to Conception, Birth, and Everything In Between (U.S. Edition)
To see the full list, check out the new store!
What book(s) did you feel were the most helpful?
Next up - most-ordered personal care products.
*I see only the name of the book and the price paid, all other details are available only to Amazon.