Volunteer for Israel - Yes. This commercial, no.

Today's Ha'aretz ran a story on an Israeli campaign to encourage volunteering in Israel. It's point is supposed to be that there are a variety of plans available for developing careers, volunteering or studying in Israel (not sure which, I didn't check it out). Ohad pointed the article out to me since the headline was "Rachel Disrobes" and he thought that was pretty funny... and since it starts with an ad that says "Surrogate Mother Available", I had to see it. Here it is:

**was - it was removed from YouTube

So I watched it and watched it again. The article says it shows a good sense of humor and that people like it. First of all, only a little over 6000 people have watched it. Not very successful for a YouTube video. Second, of the 3 people they asked about it, two said they didn't like it.

If I understand correctly, the story is that Rachel hit hard economic times, so she decided to become a surrogate mother, whereas really, she should have just come to Israel. The connection's a little difficult for me. And, being pro-surrogacy (actually, unrelated, I recently discovered that someone I'm in daily contact with had a child through surrogacy after having life-threatening medical issues that prevented her from having another child) it disturbs me that surrogacy is being presented as being such a terrible choice. It almost looks like they wanted to use prostitution, but just took a step back & presented surrogacy in the same light.

Desperation...

Here's a story I received recently from a woman named Jolly, in Uganda. I wonder if anyone can offer her ideas on where to seek help.

I am not sure whether you only receive success stories. I am not yet successful but I would like to share my burden of childlessness. I have been married for ten years. We wanted to have children as soon as possible, so we did not try any family planning method. I became pregnant in the second month after wedding. I immediately developed problems and the doctors found out that I had fibroids. At 5 months I lost the baby. I was then put on many treatments but finally I was operated on to remove the fibroids. I then had 2 more miscarriages. After which I could not conceive anymore.

Scan results revealed that adhesions blocked the tubes. I went for another operation on the tubes still I could not get pregnant. I have since tried IVF twice and failed. I have spent all my savings on trying to have children in vain. I was thinking of trying having a surrogate mother. In Uganda it is socially not acceptable but I would like to go against the odds. The major problem now is money. I have a four year loan that i am paying off because of the last procedures. I do not know what else to do. Could there be a support centre somewhere that can help frustrated parents like us? We would be most grateful.

Getting here...

Just like most people, I watch my site stats (I use statcounter) and there are a few trends that I've noticed:

That Rotten Two Week Wait is the most popular post (by far)
IVM - In Vitro Maturation is drawing a great deal of interest - especially when covered by the media.

The third most popular topic is, surprisingly about donating sperm within the family or to friends. Queries (all from the last 2 or 3 days) include:

• best friend wife donate sperm
• brother bil sperm donor
• legalities of donating sperm to our friend
• lesbian couple brother's sperm
• asking a friend to donate sperm
• brother in law wants my husband's sperm

The post itself has a nice discussion going on in the comments. It's obviously a very complicated subject and its good that people who are considering it are reading up on it first.

Another post that's a little farther down is "Low, non-doubling betas suck". Now, this is especially sad for me, because I was there and it was so bad that I hate for anyone else to have to go through it. That said, I have heard of success stories with both low and with non-doubling betas (though none that I remember that had both).

If you got here through a search, let me know what information you were looking for & I'm pretty sure I can help you find it.

On another note entirely, Pamela Tsigdinos, author of Silent Sorority, posted her story on Fertility Stories. Go over and read it and consider buying her book too. I haven't had a chance to read it yet, but I have read many other things she's written and her writing is fantastic.

Pearl earrings - win 'em fast...

Go visit http://blogherathome.com/ and check out the great swag...

I'm giving away 10 sets of 5 pairs of genuine freshwater pearl earrings.

Find out how to win them here: http://blogherathome.com/index.php/2009/07/04/infertility-and-earrings/

Good luck!

Confetti Love - By Miriam Zoll

Miriam Zoll wanted to share this short story - Confetti Love - with the readers of FertilityStories. Enjoy!

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Confetti Love
by Miriam Zoll

At the red light I jumped out of the car into the cold December night. We had been fighting these last few weeks. Quibbling was really the right word. Putting our fingers on the small pulses of our life together and offering polite critiques like rabid political pundits during the presidential season.

This evening Michael was pointing out the negative ways I continued to frame the disappointments of my life. He wanted desperately to have a glass half full but I was still half empty.

“I will not paint a smile on my face where one does not exist,” I told him angrily as I slammed the car door.

It was just turning cold enough to see your own breath and he watched as small puffs of white air trailed behind me like the trail of breadcrumbs Hansel left for the woodcutter. But he decided not to follow me. I turned right at the intersection and he turned left.

I watched him drive away then stood still for a moment in my thin leather jacket looking up at the tops of tall sugar maples backlit by the streetlights.

“What am I doing here?” I wondered. We had been so warm and affectionate that morning and now I was standing alone in the cold in the middle of an unknown town. It was truly like a Star Trek episode where Spock and Bones and the Captain are beamed down to some distant planet that is completely alien to them. All of my physical readings looked normal: I could breathe the air, stand on solid ground, place one foot in front of the other and walk all the way to Timbuktu if I wanted to. But inside my emotional compass had lost all of its bearings. I was no longer capable of steering my life or his on an even keel. Now here I was unsure of whether our marriage would make it through to the morning. Over the last few years our love had been shredded like a letter. What we were now experiencing was the confetti of our love; the little bits and pieces that comprise the whole, the little bits that are so disjointed you can’t really tell where we fit together anymore. In the middle of that intersection I realized I could head north, south, east or west. One path could lead to motherhood. One path could lead to divorce. One path could lead to a life of asceticism, like the gaunt and bony holy homeless of India. Which path would I take?
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Read the rest of the story here.