Tuesday, December 21, 2010

The funniest miscarriage story ever

Miscarriage isn't funny. I totally know that. I had one when I was about 13 weeks pregnant with what would have been my fourth child.

I've written about it before, but I'll recap in brief just to give you the context. My daughter, Hadas, was conceived after 3 years of infertility with the help of IVF. I refused to let anyone call her an only child - she was my FIRST. Knowing I wanted a fairly big family, I was ready to go back to try IVF again when she was just 6 months old. But then I got chronic fatigue that included fever every single day for over a year. Finally, I lied to the clinic & told them that the fever had disappeared. I went through 2 cycles that failed and then a doomed frozen cycle that resulted, miraculously, in twins. Twins, as anyone who has them knows, are a heck of a lot of work. And my ex-husband decided, when they were about 3 months old, that he'd had enough of it & started coming home only once all three kids were sleeping (or at 11, whichever was later). Despite all that, I was missing another baby. It was such a strong feeling of someone missing that I became obsessed with having another (stupid, I know, especially with such a non-supportive, abusive husband). So finally, when the twins were 5, my ex agreed to go back and do just one IVF cycle - the one that I knew would be my *last*chance*ever* to have that baby I was missing so much. The cycle was OK, but my ex was so not into it. To make life easier for him, I dragged one of the kids with me to my appointments (out of the city, early in the morning) every time I went. Hadas (then 8) gave me some of the shots (yes, I really did let her do that). And then I found out I was pregnant, but my beta was low & then didn't double (you can see more details at that link). I had gotten somewhat hopeful that things were going to work out (despite the odds being really low according to everything I'd read), and so were the kids. They were devastated when I lost the baby and asked for details at first, but then seemed to shy away from the topic...

So Friday night, I set the table and I was talking to the kids, telling them that I too was really sad about the miscarriage and that they should feel they could ask me anything they want. Lilach (then 6) said, "I have a question." "OK..." I answered. "I want to know why you put a spoon by my plate when you know I hate apple crumble."

This still makes me laugh every time I remember :-)

4 comments:

Rona Michelson said...

Ohmigosh! That is funny!!!

Bea said...

You're right - that is funny. Even though miscarriage isn't funny. Obviously what's on our minds and what's on theirs can be totally different things!

Bea

Sperm Journal said...

Brilliant! That is so funny.

Infertility News said...

LOL! Aren't kids wonderful. What a funny comment