Tuesday, May 31, 2011

So you think your life is hectic?

It probably is. When I was going through infertility, it was hard for me to think of other things. I focused my entire being on becoming pregnant. It took up most of my thinking-time, even when it wasn’t taking up my actual clock time. I was proud of myself for being able to do my work without screwing up, because I was so overwhelmed… When I finally got pregnant, I was focused on getting through the pregnancy OK and having a live baby. And then she was born and I was really over the moon, but hey, I had a new baby to take care of – which was just so much to think about and so much to do (but still less overwhelming than the infertility)…

Since then, I’ve had numerous ups and downs. Times when I have been so preoccupied with something that I forget everything except the absolute most important things (like picking up my kids on time or making sure there’s enough food in the house) and times when I feel like I have to find something new to fill my time. I’ve taken anywhere from no courses to 3 at a time, depending on how I felt. Sometimes I crammed as many work hours as possible into my schedule & other times I worked just a few hours here and there… Life has been so dynamic that I’ve had to adapt over and over again to new situations. I think we all do.

Some people have kept in touch with me through this crazy thing I simply call “life” and some have chosen to be bitter about the times when I didn’t call often enough or forgot to answer their email. I think those who understand that everyone’s life is hectic realize that sometimes they have to be the one who calls, even if it’s ten times in a row (or more). If the other person is happy to chat – keep calling. I find myself on both sides of this – there are people who ‘always’ call me and people who I ‘always’ call (there are, admittedly, more of the former). The people I’m most disappointed with are the people who’ve chosen both not to call and to be bitter about the fact that I haven’t called. Want to talk to me? Pick up the phone. Send an email. An SMS. Leave a comment on my blog. Write me a message on Facebook. Drop by my house… I’m not that hard to get in touch with.

If you’re going through infertility and you’re feeling overwhelmed, I think this is a good message to give your friends and family. If you’re a friend, keep this in mind. That’s what friends do. They don’t keep score.